baked sour cream doughnuts

   There are times I get cravings for moist, cake like doughnuts smothered in a slightly crisp glaze, there are other times I get cravings for grilled cheese made with (gasp!) white bread and lots of salted butter in the pan, with creamy American cheese oozing at every bite. Junk food at it’s finest.

Then, there are times I get a non food craving- a craving to declutter all the excess stuff in my life, of course this usually happens after I watch an episode of “Hoarders” … not that any of my stuff is anywhere near some of those, of course.( Although I will admit I have an abundance of cookbooks and pretty mismatched dishes.) There are also times I get cravings to shut down everything that requires electricity or batteries and go off the grid for a week. Then, there are times I get a craving to say yes to every wish of my child because she won’t be this young forever, and then there are cravings of five minutes of freedom from the worries that saturate a mother’s mind. I get cravings to go on vacation, I get cravings to stay in bed all day, I get cravings to blow it off, and other days I have cravings to conquer the world.

The point is, at some point- everyone gets a craving, a hankering, a ” gotta have ________ “feeling. And, there are good cravings and bad cravings, there are wants and needs and addictions.  And, there are some cravings that no matter what you cannot fulfill on your own. Innermost wants, desires and needs that nobody else knows about.

I think it’s time to start to crave something new.  Contentment.

I’m content with my imperfections and my flaws both with myself and around my house. I’m content that my near 39 years are beginning to show- (finally people will take me seriously) I’m content with my not so perfect family (we work through stuff instead of faking it) I’m content that I give in once in a while ( I’m not a tyrant) and I’m content that I give myself a break on occasion (but I always get out of bed)

It’s time to start trying to look for ways to be content, despite the discontentment that can sometimes saturate our thoughts.

Gratitude, contentment in all things, and peace.

Gratitude= contentment in all things= peace.

Peace= ability to love others and help people, because you’re not so preoccupied on yourself.

Loving others & Helping people= LIFE.

I went on a bit of a ramble this morning, huh? My daughter is sick, so no school for her= no lunches/car drive/ morning routine for me.

Does this mean I’m happy she’s sick? Not at all. Have I found the contentment in the situation? Yes.The gratitude? Yes. I was able to write and share without distraction. The peace? Yes, I know that this too shall pass and she will be better.

There will be times when the contentment, gratitude and peace will be close to impossible to find. In death, illness and injury.. we are sometimes left lost and bewildered in reasoning.

Those are the times when the answers lie elsewhere, and not in the moment, sometimes not in any moment of this life… and that is where life in general can be most difficult to endure. I’ve been through death, disappointment and rage. I’ve been through periods of complete and utter hopelessness, despair and neglect.  Attempting to be content in those times is close to impossible.

But, there is a way.

Faith. Prayer. One step at a time. Day by day….

Recently,  I have become friends with three ladies that have been placed in my life. Two are widows, and the third is the caretaker for her husband who had a stroke. . sweet wonderful strong women, who inspire me. Through their sadness and grief they still live. Although it may not be living in the way they had imagined as young brides, they are still alive. Actively living- sharing stories with people, gracing groups with their company… taking each day as they come, and knowing that they will see their loves again. Widows like that inspire me to not be afraid of what my future holds, and that sometimes in walking alone we can make an impact on so many more. Sometimes, it’s finding contentment even in the things that are missing in our lives, even tough we think they shouldn’t be.

What on earth does this have to do with doughnuts?

A doughnut is missing it’s center. It’s been removed and set aside, and reserved for another purpose. It once was whole, but in order for it to become what it is- something had to be removed.

It’s about being content with the doughnut, despite what’s it’s lacking.